The sun is at 29 degrees Leo today - that is my North Node in my astrology chart. It represents what I need to do to bust out of limiting patterns. The key message is to shine without dimming my light. I’ve been working on it for a long time and although I have made big advances, there was still a behavioral pattern that I had to kick.
Without going into the details of my natal chart, Leo rules my mission, destiny and happiness in life (if I choose to accept it) but I also have three heavy planets in the Earthy sign of Virgo, one that encourages us to be humble. And in my case, to hide my light because I didn’t want to be a show off, seem arrogant, or too self-centered.
The North Node is completely outside your comfort zone; playing the observer comes naturally to me, but the North Node in Leo pushes me to take my place center stage.
As you'll know from reading Diary of a Psychic Healer, I've been on a spiritual deep dive for 14 years.
I have this pattern where I downplay the amount of time, energy and diligence that has gone into my energy healing and spiritual studies. So for example, earlier this month I wrote an Instagram post that questioned the popular New Age Lionsgate trend. Instead of just saying “I don’t see this in the stars,” I began that post with a disclaimer of “if I am reading this right.”
My intention was to imply that I didn’t have the truth, not that I didn’t know how to read charts. I wasn’t sure if that trend was rooted in aspect patterns with the planets being aligned, the time of year, or pop culture numerology. My guess was the latter.
A friend shared my post on her wall. It was met by criticism from a lady who funny enough, mirrored the critical Virgo voice that runs through my mind: am I good enough, do I know enough, did I phrase this right??? She questioned my astrology knowledge and implied that my content didn’t merit a share. I had a huge Aha Moment: I don’t need to defend my credentials to anyone, least of all a stranger online.
I’ve been exploring astrology in detail since 2009 when Jan Spiller’s Astrology for a Soul just got me. My formal studies came later, in 2015 & 2016, and by 2017 I was teaching experimental astro workshops. In real life interactions I tend to downplay how much time and energy I’ve dedicated to my craft, but it’s apparent on this blog.
This month’s lesson is not to downplay my talent or experience; something that I have been doing for far too long. Even in my corporate days, a friend insisted that I should put my MBA diploma on my wall (as another colleague did) so that people would know that I had a masters. I didn’t want to brag. Plus I thought it was enough that my bosses & HR knew. In hindsight I’m not sure that it would have made a difference because my ability to deliver on projects was more important. My enthusiasm and commitment were more than enough too.
Or so I thought…
Since then I’ve had flashbacks to instances where I downplayed my track record with energy healing, or when I praised someone’s work in a way that made them believe they had more experience and stature than I did. Those interactions seemed harmless but the ego dynamic of ‘faux humility and shrinking to please’ creates an unbalanced relationship. It takes a lot to come back from that, no matter how long we’ve been on the spiritual path.
My life lesson has been to shine brightly and let whoever wants to stick around, stick around. It takes courage to shine your light no matter who is in your orbit, and not to feel too big (or too small) around someone who also has power.
Also, my intuition tells me that if I don’t shine as brightly as I can, I’m not doing my part. The biggest lesson of all 🦁
Reiki hugs,
Regina
Ps…. Read my books - they are both awesome. Available on Amazon.
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