I am starting to discover that our life purpose doesn't have to be serious or even all that admirable. A part of me used to think it had to be accomplished; that's the side of me that wanted to go to Harvard Undergrad and was mostly devastated when I didn't get in. Instead I went to Tufts University, just down the road in Sommerville, MA, and it's probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Tufts was fun. I made great friends from all over the world and I majored in Philosophy which was pretty cool without having the stress that my few acquaintances at Harvard faced. Tufts was friendly and challenging - I liked that.
Since then, I also discovered Astrology, a subject that isn't taught at Harvard (as far as I know) even though it did make the cut at Tuft's Experimental college. Call me crazy, but Astrology should be offered at every college. If there is a time when finding our place is most critical, it's those formative years before we launch ourselves into the world as young adults. I discovered it nearer my Saturn return (at 27-28) and the perspective it gave me has been invaluable. For one, Jan Spiller (one of my favorite authors) introduced me to the world of North Nodes and Pre-Birth Eclipses. These little known placements can point you in the direction of your very own Yellow Brick Road, the path that will lead you to your Life Purpose. I have discussed the North Node in a previous post, Psychic Astrology and the Soul, but the Moon's Nodes tell us about where our soul is coming from and where it's headed. The theory is that over the course of many lifetimes, our experiences shape us by letting us perfect certain skills over and over again. The Moon's South Node tells us what's done and dusted in terms of learning experiences, while the North Node tells us what type of experience we can throw ourselves into, to balance the scales. Your South Node (past) represents what you are very comfortable with, and your North Node is the exact opposite - it may pain you to go there, but once you do, bliss, realization and fulfillment are yours. Jan Spiller's book, Astrology for the Soul, explains it beautifully.
I recently discovered another book by Spiller on eclipses, specifically lunar and solar eclipses that happen in the six months leading up to our birth. Apparently the sign these eclipses fall under can clue us into the gift we have to share with the world - where we can help others by being ourselves and letting them follow our example. It reminds me of a quote from Gabby Bernstein's Miracles Now deck: When I shine bright, I give others permission to shine with me. Its funny because my North Node (where I need to push myself) and my prenatal eclipse are in the same sign of Leo, and to complicate matters more, my Sun is in Aquarius. Leo and Aquarius are opposites. So in essence, my past and present are all about Aquarian energy, but I'm also pushed to embrace what you could call my shadow - the other side of the coin. Leo is all about playfulness, love and the Inner Child which sounds lovely, but it's also a sign that wants to be front and center: pampered, admired and respected. My Aquarian nature runs from the spotlight and wants everyone to be treated equally (or maybe it just pushes "attention seeking" into the shadow self).
There is nothing wrong with the sign of Leo, it has wonderful, fiery energy. But as the exact opposite of my Sun Sign (and my uncomfortable but necessary North Node), it's also where I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. This week it dawned on me that my purpose doesn't have to be lofty - it's about embracing that North Node and also channeling the energy from my prenatal eclipse. We can answer some of life's big existential questions with Astrology: Why are we here? What is your purpose? My eclipse and North Node in Leo tell me that I'm here to love, to play and to shine even if it feels like I'm being pampered with that purpose. This week I created an affirmation for myself based on my natal chart, adding a line about my needs being taken care of because let's face it, my Moon (emotions, feelings, security) is in Capricorn, a sign that can be too focused on self-reliance and material goods.
This realization was huge, and funny enough, my mom gave me a really cool Affirmations Coloring Book for my birthday last week so it feels like I'm already connecting with my Inner Child by picking up those colored pencils. All this week, I have been repeating that simple phrase and it feels amazing - liberating even. Please get in touch if you would like to explore your natal chart and ask for guidance; I'm now incorporating Astrology, Tarot and Angels into my Skype and Email readings. (See link for details)
Now for a bit of (childish) Leo energy...