I saw a quote on Facebook a few days ago: “Boundaries only piss off the people who benefited from you having none” by Mark Manson. It got me thinking about how we manage personal and professional relationships. In tandem, I’m taking an Internal Family Systems psychology class that guides us through recurring relationship themes in our lives - what part of you relates to others in different situations. I’m not a psychologist, but it helps a lot to look at our patterns. Otherwise we get stuck.
So, I had a problem with a colleague years ago and I never wrote about it - without going into the details, when I was a healing student, I had a lot of fun in class and made good friends (which was one of my main interests). The people who share your interests become your friends. When this becomes your job, as it did for me, the people who share your interests could be your friends, but they often turn into competitors. And that gets sticky. I have found myself experiencing a lot of the frictions that I used to have in the corporate world. It’s because at the end of the day, even if we run spiritual businesses, we are still all human. Let's say you are into runes or tarot or crystals or chakras - and you want to teach a class on that. Other teachers and healers might not like it.
I used to address this by doing a bit of a tribute to friends who focused on themes that I wasn’t working on professionally, but that I had spent a good amount of time on, personally. So for example, if I was talking about runes, I would mention so and so. When I began posting about those themes online, or doing a class, some would respond well (most did). Eventually I realized that I didn't want to do tributes anymore, and I stopped. It wasn't the best approach as it kept me from owning my experience, and in hindsight, it was not the best friendship dynamic. I think it was a coping mechanism, after I had push back. Spirituality is a business now, and that’s ok, but it’s also a way of life.I share so many things online. For example, are visual posts there to catch people’s eyes, or just that I am interested in that topic? It’s inevitable to step on people’s toes. I still approach what I post online as sharing what I am into, what I have learned, and what I am doing at the moment. I consider the classes I teach, and energy healing sessions as my job. If it's a class, a ton of time goes into prepping it. If it's a Facebook post, it might be a thought that went through my mind. If it's a one-to-one session with clients, the energy healing technique will be one where I spent a lot of time training, to offer that service.
I write about things I’m into - you have to let that guide you. It’s part of being authentic. There isn't a huge difference between what I research, what I study for pure enjoyment and what could turn into a business opportunity someday. Blogging is my way of getting ideas out there. Social media is different; it gets you out there, in front of people. I had push back after branching out.
It's common, but we do have to maintain our boundaries. I didn't appreciate this dynamic at all, I found it unsustainable. If it's clear that a relationship has become strained, maybe it's best not to reference them anymore. I also realized I didn’t want to build on what I might have learned from them. It depends on the situation, as so much of what people share is common knowledge. I have deleted a few blog posts, learnings and content that referenced colleagues, while still exploring all of my interests. Honestly, I would rather focus on my own work. This feels like the best and the cleanest way forward.
Over and out.
Regina ~ my part in this 🖤🤍🖤
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Regina Chouza is an energy healer, astrologer and author of A Personal Guide to Self-Healing, Cancer & Love and Chakra Healing & Magick. She holds a BA in Philosophy from Tufts University. Regina’s passion is bringing self-love, joy and empowerment to healing pursuits. Read her books to awaken your intuition and channel energy healing. Available on Amazon.
