It's funny how certain things come along when we need them - and
in the weirdest ways. Four years ago I was finishing up my energy healing
studies and while the program was very comprehensive as far as chakras
and spiritual healing were concerned, I felt I needed better communications skills too...
At the time I had just signed up to volunteer as a Reiki
practitioner at a cancer support center. One day my supervisor
asked if I would like to participate in a Buddy System - essentially
as someone who sits with patients and talks to them when they need a listening
ear.
During the training we practiced different skills that
could help us listen to people and respond without coming across as
judgemental, or without letting our fears, insecurities or prejudices get in the way.
Applying 'Listening Skills' in Daily
Life
I have spent some time thinking about how we can apply these
skills in our daily lives, especially if a friend needs emotional support. Below you'll find ideas!
Giving our undivided attention is often the hardest part. Even if we manage to switch off our phones and find a quiet place to chat, our thoughts are a constant distraction. How do we go about quieting the mind?
1) If you are going to be sitting down with a
friend, make a list of everything that you need to do that day/week before you
see them. If anything pops up during the chat ask your angels to take note. They make great project managers!
2) Half the time we are thinking about our response before they are even done talking. Take the pressure off by acknowledging their feelings instead of looking for a solution. For example, "I'm sad this event made you feel this way, how annoying!" acknowledges that they're going through a tough time, without trying to wipe away or repress their
emotions.
3) Your attitude is what matters most. We can
help by checking any beliefs, attitudes and ideas about what is good/bad at
the door. Be kind, be loving, and be objective.
4) If your companion seems confused, help them
order their thoughts by repeating some of the things they said to make sure you
understood. Rephrase it and point out a different way of looking at the problem
without changing the facts...
5) Let them know its OK to share feelings and misgivings. Demonstrate it with your posture, your facial
expressions and by nodding rather than saying "spill the beans"
In a nutshell, deep listening is
about paying attention to feelings, body language and words while offering
guidance only when asked specifically. Let them share their feelings without trying to change what they are saying or spinning it to make it more comfortable...
Reiki hugs,
Regina
ps ... I am an energy healer, not a psychologist.