Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Why Listening Is An Art

It's funny how certain things come along when we need them - and in the weirdest ways. Four years ago I was finishing up my energy healing studies and while the program was very comprehensive as far as chakras and spiritual healing were concerned, I felt I needed some counseling skills too... 

At the time I had just signed up to volunteer as a Reiki practitioner at a cancer support center. One day my supervisor asked if I would like to participate in a Buddy System - essentially as someone who sits with patients and talks to them when they need a listening ear.  

During the training we practiced different skills that could help us listen to people and respond without coming across as judgemental, or without letting our fears, insecurities or prejudices get in the way. 

Applying 'Listening Skills' in Daily Life

I have spent some time thinking about how we can apply these skills in our daily lives, especially if a friend needs emotional support. Below you'll find ideas!

Giving our undivided attention is often the hardest part. Even if we manage to switch off our phones and find a quiet place to chat, our thoughts are a constant distraction. How do we go about quieting the mind?

1) If you are going to be sitting down with a friend, make a list of everything that you need to do that day/week before you see them. If anything pops up during the chat ask your angels to take note. They make great project managers!

2) Half the time we are thinking about our response before they are even done talking. Take the pressure off by acknowledging their feelings instead of looking for a solution. For example, "I'm sad this event made you feel this way, how annoying!" acknowledges that they're going through a tough time, without trying to wipe away or repress their emotions. 

3) Your attitude is what matters most. We can help by checking any beliefs, attitudes and ideas about what is good/bad at the door. Be kind, be loving, and be objective. 

4) If your companion seems confused, help them order their thoughts by repeating some of the things they said to make sure you understood. Rephrase it and point out a different way of looking at the problem without changing the facts... 

5) Let them know its OK to share feelings and misgivings. Demonstrate it with your posture, your facial expressions and by nodding rather than saying "spill the beans" 

In a nutshell, deep listening is about paying attention to feelings, body language and words while offering guidance only when asked specifically. Let them share their feelings without trying to change what they are saying or spinning it to make it more comfortable... 

Reiki hugs, 



Regina Chouza is an Energy Healer, Angel Medium and author of A Personal Guide to Self-Healing, Cancer & Love and Chakra Healing & Magick. She studied angel intuition and astrology at The College of Psychic Studies in London, and qualified as a healer at the School of Intuition & Healing UK. Her passion is bringing the qualities of self-love, joy and empowerment to healing pursuitsRead her books to heal yourself.  

Image: (added 2021) 

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