Monday, February 11, 2013

Dealing with Unresolved Anger

Last year I was angry and hurt when something didn't go my way. I thought it was unfair and I didn't deal with it properly. A few months ago a tiny mole appeared on my back, near the heart. When I asked my intuition what it meant, the answer was "You're still angry. You feel you've been stabbed in the back." This made complete sense to me. One of the things I'm writing about in my book on Energy Healing & Cancer is how our emotions can leave a mark on the body, especially when we are not able to manage the emotional aftermath of a situation. I believe emotional and mental patterns can be linked to just about any any physical imbalance. 

Louise Hay also discusses this theory in You Can Heal Your Life. Her view is that for every disease or symptom, there is a mental or emotional pattern that caused it. She links every disease to either anger or fear as the root cause. The classic example is stress leading to tension headaches, backaches and even ulcers. Stress is the way we experience fear of failure, for example failure to meet an important deadline or failure to pay our bills and rent. I believe a person's inability to release that fear from their  consciousness is what lead's to them feeling stressed. When the stress accumulates we start to see the negative effect on the body, be it a headache or hair loss. 

The full range of human emotions can be held in the body, not just tension and stress. In my case I was angry and that little mole was an expression of the anger. It is also a visible sign telling me that I haven't dealt with the situation emotionally. Of course, I also made a trip to the doctor to have it looked at*. For whatever reason I was born with scores of moles. I have them checked out periodically as there are too many for me to keep track of. In old times people thought witches could be identified by their moles. I think they were onto something with me! I might have a mole for each past-life as a clairvoyant, healer or witch as I'm sure I had a few. 

So back to my self-healing. There were two people involved in the situation last year. One moved away and I haven't seen her since. Though we were close I haven't felt like staying in touch or telling her about my new plans. The other person I forgave pretty quickly because I never really blamed them. I think I still need to deal with my emotions about what happened and release them. The past few days I've been sending Reiki to the memory.  With her I tried the other F word -> FORGETTING. Wrong approach. The only way to heal traces of anger is to FORGIVE. 

In this case it was easy to forget because I didn't see her again. I don't know if my anger was even justified. Emotions are often irrational anyway. Anger is not a nice emotion to hold onto, even if you forget about it and bury it to get on with your life. Forgiving is about giving yourself a Get Out of Jail Free card. It doesn't affect the other person or condone their actions. Being mad at life is even more pointless than being mad at at person. If we're angry the best thing you can do is work through the feelings and let go. Otherwise the only person who gets hurt is the one in the mirror. 

Energy Healing is complementary to medical care, not alternative. But it can help us understand what makes us tick under the surface. Try both approaches. 


Regina Chouza is an Energy Healer, Angel Medium and author of A Personal Guide to Self-Healing, Cancer & Love and Chakra Healing & Magick. She studied angels, tarot and astrology at The College of Psychic Studies in London, and qualified as an Energy Healer at the School of Intuition & Healing UK. Blogging since 2010, Regina's passion is bringing the qualities of love, joy and empowerment to healing pursuits. 


Image Updated: (July 2021)


  1. thank you for this article. it gives me insight on how to deal with my own emotion.

  2. Great post, this information is important. Thanks!

  3. I went through a time of intense prayer in which i reviewed each person who i felt betrayed me. what i found when I got to the center of things is that i wasn't angry with them and could forgive easily their life lessons. at the heart of the matter was one common theme and that was that I was angry with myself for not standing in my center, for giving my power away to someone else and allowed them to misuse my friendship by mot standing up for myself as having a valid viewpoint as a shining light in the universe.I also learned that i don't always have to be the "good guy" but I can stand firm and state my case with kindness yet firmness because there is no "REALITY" in this physical dimention, only points of view. When we consider that another person has just as much right to their lessons as we do forgiveness sort of clears the view.

    1. Hi The Purple Lady - so sorry for the delay responding to your comment (blogger had been acting up for ages). I so agree, forgiving ourselves is often the hardest part. But I'm glad you've moved into a space where you can assert yourself lovingly. In my case, connecting with archangels chamuel and zadkiel really helped. Kabbalistically, they can help us connect with the energy of firm boundaries + compassion.

      Reiki hugs,