Lately I have been doubting my ability to become a full-time healer. I am glad I wrote this book on healing and cancer, I wouldn't have it any other way, but it's time to get a job again. At least for a while. I am hoping for a short term or part-time job to give me a decent source of income. A permanent contract could also work, though it would require more commitment. I'm not ready to give up yet.
Commitment is the key word. Funny thing is when I ask whether it is possible to pull of my dream of becoming a full-time healer and writer, the card that comes up is the Commitment card from Doreen Virtue’s Archangel Michael deck. I understand, commit to an outcome Regina. But what does it mean? I finally had a clear answer at Kabbalah class yesterday. You have to want it as much as Rudy wanted to play football at Notre Dame (if you don't remember the 90's movie, see below!). Rudy didn't make the cut, he was too small to play, but he really wanted to play. And when we really want something, the Universe adds an extra oomph that pushes us over the barrier.
Yesterday we had what I would call an unconventional bible class. Kabbalah looks at the Bible as a metaphor that we can deconstruct to find a hidden meaning. It never says what it means. And its not literal. This week we touched on Noah's Arc and the flood. Noah saved the human race and animals by bringing male and female pairs onto the boat. He could have saved more people. He didn’t try because he didn’t think it possible. Maybe he was hung up on the physical limitations. Maybe Noah felt special because God singled him out, saying: Noah, save yourself!
Well, the Kabbalist says: Noah knew about the flood ahead of time so that he could warn others. They didn't want to listen? Try harder. They could have built more boats. They had time to do it. That also begs the question: Did God send the flood or was it a natural disaster that they could have escaped? I don't believe in a God that intentionally causes pain on Earth, and more often than not, intuition sends warning signs so that we can sidestep those events. That is what our guardian angels are here for, to protect and serve =)
So what could Noah have done differently? Yesterday we heard about three different bible characters and their approaches to life. First Noah, who was hung up on whether he could. Then Abraham who had a clear desire to help others. He wanted to. (You'll have to forgive me here because I don't have an example, not an avid bible reader). From a Kabbalistic point of view, desire creates a vacuum in us that the universe fills with spiritual energy. Desire to help others creates a bigger more powerful vacuum. So truly wanting something, and wanting to help others, makes a bigger difference than whether we think we can. And whether common sense agrees. It's about will power.
Finally, the last example was Moses who famously freed the slaves in Egypt. He knew he could. He wanted to. And against all odds and his own bad temper, he pushed as hard as he could until he made it happen. Moses was truly committed. That was the example to follow. Our homework was to identify areas where we feel that we can’t make any progress. Whether it’s getting along with relatives. Having a stable, romantic relationship. Doing well financially. Where do we feel helpless? The task was to upgrade our thinking from "I can't" to "I want to" and finally "I have to, no matter what." We have to fight for it.
Here's the movie trailer. Enjoy!